Dear Santa (aka Jesus Helper),
My wish this Christmas is that my family would feel and share in the joy of knowing Jesus. That my children would know God and his marvelous grace. That I would serve God with a love that is bold and true. I would want my children to see Jesus in me and be drawn closer to Him.
Oh...and peace on earth.
Love, Melissa
P.S. A little chocolate would be great too! (The dark kind.)
5:32 AM
6:32 PM
My friend keeps reminding me that being a "mean mom" translates to a mom who is doing her job.
Lately, Aubrey has really been testing every possible limit. Yesterday we ventured out to do our weekly shopping. We stopped at Starbucks to get some incentive to make the trip out worth it. While inside, Aubrey would absolutely not obey anything I said. Finally out of complete exasperation I turned to her and said, "I am getting very frustrated with you." She immediately replied, "Well, I am very frustrated with you!" Well that did get me to chuckle a little bit, but I tried to hide it.
We continued on our shopping trip. Luckily at Fred Meyer they have blessed us weary parents with Play Land so I got to shop in peace. After that we went to Costco where Aubrey continued her quest to make me totally crazy. By the time we finally got all our shopping done and we were on our way home, our relationship had sunk to a new low. I had told her she was no longer allowed to talk to me the rest of the ride home. I was so done!
What was her response? Well she began to sing a song from Sunday school. My heart melted as she sang, "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me." "I love him so...etc." I was just thinking how sweet she really was after all, when she started singing a new version. "Mommy is so bad, Mommy is so bad, Mommy is so bad, she's so bad to me." "I don't love her so...etc." So much for the sweet girl thought.
I'm sure someday I will again experience her as a sweet, beautiful blessing, and my heart will swell with joy for being in her presence. I look forward to that with anxious anticipation. So far, I'm still waiting.
5:16 PM
Aubrey really enjoyed dressing up, carving pumpkins, roasting seeds, going to the pumpkin patch and the Harvest Fest at the church where she goes to preschool. Aidan even got into the pumpkin guts! He was so excited and giggly. We had so much fun.
10:01 PM
Some parents get excited when their child gets a great report card or scores the winning goal in the big game, as they should. We all get tremendous joy in the things our children accomplish. Yesterday I had a moment of joy that brought tears to my eyes. I witnessed my son stand up from a bench and stand on his own two legs for ten seconds. He was so proud and I was too. We smiled and laughed together and it was beautiful.
Thanks God for little triumphs!
3:58 PM
Today while snuggling with Aubrey she said, "Mommy, you're so soft, and warm...and skinny!" Shocked, I replied, "You think I'm skinny?" She promptly burst my bubble by saying, "Yes, because you have so much skin."
5:14 PM
Here are a few pictures of Aubrey on her first day of preschool. She loves it and is not at all sad when we leave. She gives us a quick kiss and she's off. It's funny to watch her scurry from one activity to the next at free time. She's so excited she can hardly decide what she wants to do. During circle and singing time, she is totally enthralled. She has already come home with new songs. I'm so glad we found such a wonderful preschool where she feels loved and is being engaged.
7:48 PM
Sometimes I forget how much my soul needs music. It's been a long time since I took some time to replenish myself. Today I took a long bubble bath with my i-pod and a glass of wine. God always meets me in these times. What a gracious God that he immediately gives me just what I need when I turn to him.
The song that spoke to me the most was "You're Not Alone" by Meredith Andrews, and in particular the line..."I'm the one who's loved you all your life." I am so thankful that God has always known me, loved me and cared for me. As I look back on my life I see the loving marks of Jesus in the midst of pain and tears - beauty from ashes. And what really brings me to tears is looking at my little children and knowing without a doubt that God is loving them and caring about every aspect of their lives. Someday they will look back and know that God has always been there in a very personal way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgz_GI7h_U8
9:00 AM
Yesterday at church Aubrey wanted to go in to service for the worship. So she loudly sang "tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet" to the songs she didn't know the words to. Then during prayer she picked up a bible from the pew and said to me, "Mommy, I'm going to pretend this bible is the Three Little Pigs." I'm sure the people sitting around us got a big kick out of that. Of course, I was mortified. Not very reverent of my little girl. But I had to laugh.
6:46 PM
Aidan started 2nd grade today. He wasn't so sure about going to school this morning and fussed a little bit getting on the bus. But, just like a typical kid, he perked right up when he got to use his new i-pod and listen to some music on the way to school.
Here's a picture of him at recess (also with his i-pod). He was having a good time. Like his new faux hawk haircut? Pretty cool!
3:13 PM
We had a great day at the zoo! Aubrey loved it all. She played her little heart out. What was really impressive was how much fun Aidan had. He especially enjoyed feeding the goats. Also he did awesome using his standing legs to play in the hands on pool feeling sea stars, sea slugs, anemone and more. He probably would have done it longer, but his legs were getting tired and so was my back! But it was neat that he got to participate in that. I was so proud of him standing so nicely. Way to go Aidan!
5:16 PM
We had such a great time with our cousins at the beach in Seaside, Oregon. It was great seeing the kids have fun chasing the waves, getting filthy in the sand, and loving on each other. Hopefully they will remember this trip when they grow up.
8:36 PM
Every day it's something new with this girl. Here are a few more precious things Aubrey has said lately.
- We were driving in the car and she says, "I'm sad." I ask her why and she says, "Because Gabe isn't here anymore." She prays about Gabe and Danielle's cat, Marcella (who has gone missing) every night.
- Susan was here watching the kids today. Justin came to take Aubrey to the park and as they were leaving Aubrey says to Susan, "Do you need anything?" Susan replies, "I just need you to have a great time." Aubrey says, "Ok, but if you need anything, you let me know."
- Tonight as I was tucking her in she pulls my face really close to her with both hands and says, "You're gorgeous."
Thank you God, for such a precious girl. She lights up our lives.
12:57 PM
Our dear friend, Gabe Morales, passed away on Monday. His mom, Dianna, has been Aidan's main care provider since he was a baby. Their whole family has become a part of our family. Our hearts are breaking with them over this huge loss.
Gabe was a wonderful spirited child who loved life! He taught us all about pure joy! We know that he is free to run, jump, and play in the presence of Jesus now and that brings us great comfort.
5:16 AM
What a blessing Aubrey gave us last night! During the middle of dinner Aubrey says to me, "Mommy can I say prayer?" Usually she always wants us to pray. Of course we had already prayed, but who can say no to that? So I said sure. Here is her prayer. "Dear God, thank you for the love. Thank you for Mommy and Daddy. Thank you for the food. In Jesus name, Amen." So sweet. It was the first time she has said her own prayer out loud. She also has started imagining she is walking with God after we tuck her in at night. She said they walk to the candy store! I love it!
There's nothing better than watching your child develop their relationship with God. I only hope and pray that she can maintain that "realness" as she gets older.
5:36 AM
Lately Aidan has been crying a lot. We think it may be GI related because he is gassy and it is often after feedings. But then he's also just acting really sensitive to any change - like moving him from one activity to the next, changing his position, or putting him to bed. It could be constipation, a side-effect of a new drug (Sinemet), responding to school being out, or a whole slew of other things. It is very frustrating trying to figure it out. There's just so many variables and he can't really tell us what's wrong. He woke up this morning at 4:30am crying. I gave him his meds early to help him calm down since his normal music and mommy were not working. He calmed down, but then had a seizure. Not sure how long it was because I didn't see when it started. The seizures are relatively new and infrequent so they are very upsetting to witness.
Also Aubrey and I leave for a visit to Utah tomorrow. It is difficult to leave when Aidan is having so much trouble, but I know he will be in excellent care between Bruce and Dianna.
Please pray for a resolution to his recent troubles, for God's wisdom, strength and peace. We know that God loves Aidan and has him in His hands!
5:36 PM
Aubrey calls the toilet paper rolls her telescopes. The other day she held it up to her eye and said in her gruffest pirate voice - "ARRRRHH! I'm looking for someone to play with. Has anyone seen my Daddy?" It was so funny. I don't know, maybe you had to be there.
5:27 PM
Congratulations to Justin & his girlfriend Cathy on their graduation from Evergreen College. Justin has worked very hard to accomplish his BA in Fine Arts. We are so proud of you!
1:17 PM
Aubrey is always providing us with great laughs. I have been bad about writing down the great things she says, so here is my attempt to remember some from the last week or so.
1. After overhearing me request a refill of my birth control prescription, she told Aidan's therapist that "mommy needs to go get her birthday pills."
2. While helping clean Aidan's syringes, she said, "I have to do a lot of work to get some money to buy food."
3. At the doctor's office waiting room she announced to everyone that she was there to pee in the doctor's special cup.
4. She is using all sorts of big words like "prefer, actually, probably, beautiful, lovely".
5. Someone said "me too" and she said "me three".
6. She can order my drink at Starbucks "decaf soy latte" and her favorite restaurant is "Japanese Steak House", both of which she says very well. Her favorite food is "shrimp".
7. As Dianna was leaving our house on Friday she said, "Bye Bye, I hope you have a good weekend."
10:26 AM
And I'm proud to be an American,where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood
Please pray for my brother, Joe Schmolke, who is serving our country in Afghanistan. Also for his wife Tsvetana and his kids, Reuben, Andrew, and Stephanie. They are all heroes in my book. We love you and pray for you often!
1:27 PM
On Sunday our family went to Sesame Street Live in Everett. Since Aidan thinks Sesame Street is the next best thing to heaven, we couldn't miss it! He had a little trouble at first when the show started - it was really loud! Daddy took him to the back for a little while until he calmed down. But after that he had a great time. Elmo was his favorite part (of course). Aubrey sat staring at the show and didn't move a muscle. I think it was a little overwhelming, but she loved it. Her favorite part was Abbey Cadabby and Oscar.
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